Black Friday is upon us whether you like it or not and geez do we have some cold hard deals that'll make your loins quiver. For an entire week, everything in the store is 30% off! That’s right. But wait, there's more? Patches are 40% off and you heard it all right here at the supple super teat.

You thought it couldn't get any better, but the stunning reality is this: it'll get more normal. We're droppin' a dope new pin for your poking pleasures and you're the first to hear it. Not you specifically, but you, generally. As a populous.